Here is a really simple and effective gratitude like practice that you might find useful in improving happiness. In my household we have used this practice almost daily for a year and it has helped my daughters (and the rest of us) with improved happiness, better study habits and overall improved levels of responsibility. Typically this is a dinner table exercise (You do eat dinner with your family don’t you?), but we also practice is in the car when traveling and at any time we are all together.

The practice is known as “Three Good Things” and consists of the following:

• Name something good from you life today.
• Answer the question: Why is is good?
• Answer the question: Why did it happen?
• Rinse repeat 2 more times.

I first read about this practice from Dr. Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology on his site authentichappiness.com. You can read more about it in this article:

Positive Psychology Progress Empirical Validation of Interventions

by Martin E. P. Seligman and Tracy A. Steen - University of Pennsylvania, Nansook Park - University of Rhode Island, Christopher Peterson - University of Michigan

Isn’t this really a gratitude practice?

The short answer is yes, absolutely. However the concept of gratitude is more abstract than something good in your life. With middle school and high schools kids, when we practiced gratitude, they were at a loss some days to find something to be grateful about. But they are never at a loss to come up with something good from their day. Even when they have a really bad day, at least they cam come up with ‘the day is over’.

How can this help with study habits and grades?

We had been doing this practice for about 3 weeks when my oldest said: “I got a 97 in History!” Dad Says “Why is that good?” “I love history and good grades are always good!” Dad Says “Why did it happen?” “I studied more than usual.” When she said that, bingo, the lights went off. You could see it in her face, the realization about the consequences of study and grades. Sure, as parents, we have again and again stressed the tie between effective study habits and good grades. But people learn best from their own data. And all the times we had talked in the past about study just clicked with her. Bingo that is it. SHe got it!

It really hit my oldest in a dramatic way. From that point on she has focused more on study habits and commitment to study and grades have continued to improve. And we now hear frequently about something good at school tied to personnel effort and commitment.

What about good things that are out of our control?

The beauty of this practice is the good thing can be anything. We don’t pass judgment on ‘the good thing that each of find in our life. Just make sure that everyone answers the two follow on questions regardless of the nature of the good thing. Over time the good things will cover so many different scenarios that this practice will turn into a focused gratitude conversation.

• Good Thing: “The beautiful sunrise this morning was great.”
• Why is it a good thing: “Because I love sunrises.”
• Why did it happen: “God decided we needed a good sunrise.”

• Good Thing: “The meatloaf I’m eating right now.”
• Why is it a good thing: “Because It’s my favorite home cooked meal.”
• Why did it happen: “Mom is a good cook and she made meatloaf when I asked for it.”

• Good Thing: “Friendships with distance friends.”
• Why is it a good thing: “Because Sally is a really good friend and I love talking with her.”
• Why did it happen: “I contacted her even though it has been a long time and she lives hundreds of miles away.”

What else do I need to know?

Get started today with this practice. Everyone benefits and you can even do it alone. It’s simple and the benefits grow over time. By focusing on good things it will take your mind off of the negative news in the world. And if you believe in the law of attraction - LOA (I do) it will help bring more good things in your life and it will open your eyes to much of the goodness that is with us each and every day.

Where can I find out more?

Start with Dr. Seligman’s site and this wonderful ted video where Dr. Seligman talks about what makes us happy. This is must see video.

And post a comment or two here. Lets get a dialog going about Three Good Things!

A friend of mine (twitter @kcreamer) recently told me about a great blog site litemind.com that is “Exploring ways to use our mind efficiently.” I’m finding this site to be a very fun and productive read since I have an interest in Whole Brain Thinking and the impact that brain dominance plays in our own abilities to be creative, achieve success in life and work, and be happy. I’ve only just begun to explore the site but in that process have discovered that twitter user @lucianop is the site owner and primary author.

These recent posts at litemind.com can help us begin to understand how greatness can be achieved. You might want to go read these and come back for my commentary:

Einstein’s Secret to Amazing Problem Solving (and 10 Specific Ways You Can Use It)

This article deals with the importance of critical thinking and problem definition in solving big problems.

How to be Great: Rising Above the Talent Myth

This article deals with the myth that we are born great. It lays out some practical steps for what is termed “Deliberate Practice” for achieving greatness. One thing is certain, when striving for greatness; it takes lots of practice and work.

Deliberate Practice, Self Actualization and Meta Cognition

The process of achieving Deliberate Practice can help you achieve Self Actualization. The ability to look at your own performance, in a non-emotional, non-judgmental manner is so very important on the road to Self Actualization. And Self-Actualization is required for sustained greatness.

Meta-Cognition, the thinking about your thinking, is key to the ability to look at ones-self and examine the good and the bad, and then deciding what to change and how. Progress toward greatness cannot occur without this introspection and correction. Yet many of us get hung up emotionally about our failing and faults and then come to believe that we can never eliminate or overcome our failings. Our failing become self-limiting beliefs.

Strengths Alignment

To harness your greatness you need alignment of strengths, goals and values and the identification and elimination of self-limiting beliefs. Otherwise, the effectiveness of deliberate practice is limited.

People have innate strengths, as highlighted in the Gallop Organizations StrenghsFinder book and assessment (also known as Strengths Finder) and the VIA strengths discussed by Dr. Martin Seligman When your work or play is aligned with your strengths (your core abilities), your ability to achieve mastery rises exponentially. In addition, people that operate in alignment usually can achieve “flow” or right brain thinking easily. And as one of the leading positive psychologists Dr. Seligman has learned, being in the flow leads to sustained happiness or achieving the so called “Good Life”. Deliberate Practice becomes much easier when you love your work and this love emanates from the alignment of strengths and the resulting flow.

You can read more about strengths at Why You Need To Assess Your Strengths Now.

Self-Limiting Beliefs

Additionally we are conditioned to believe that we are limited beings. Most of us travel through life with many self-limiting beliefs. Teachers, peers, parents, friends and others condition us from very early on to believe that we can’t do this and we can’t do that. These beliefs then form self imposed barriers to our own achievements. Truly great people identify their self-limiting beliefs (or don’t have them to start with) and work to tear them down and replace them with greatness beliefs. Tiger Woods belief that he would be greater that Jack Nicklaus is a great example of replacing self-limiting beliefs with beliefs of greatness. Consider as well the 4 minute mile. Until Roger Bannister broke this barrier in 1954 no one thought it possible (other than Roger). Then a month and a half later his record was broken. And since then, the sub-4 minute mile has become routine.

People wanting to achieve greatness have to start off with a belief system that the impossible is possible, and that they will be the one to make it happen.

In future articles, I will outline simple steps for identifying and eliminating self-limiting beliefs and replacing them with greatness beliefs.

Are you looking for greater job satisfaction? Feeling like you are in a rut? Want more out of life? Well knowing your core strengths can help you to begin to redesign your life and achieve a happier and more satisfying life.

I’ve started out applying these principles to my life and career and achieved a dramatic lift in happiness, satisfaction and energy. I now use these techniques with family, friends, my work team and life-coaching clients. You too can get a boast in happiness yourself.

What are Core Strengths

Dr. Martin Seligman a leading positive psychologist and calls then signature strengths and describes them as character traits. The book StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment form the Gallop organization calls them your top talents (see the bottom of this post for a link to this book on Amazon)

Why Knowing Your Strengths Is Important?

The short answer is you can dramatically improve your happiness. If you align your work and life with your strengths you can achieve what Dr. Seligman calls “The Good Life”. If you can align your strengths with meaningful work or activities then you can achieve what Dr. Seligman calls the apex of happiness as “The Meaningful Life”.

I took the StrengthsFinder assessment back in 2004. At that time I was in a Director role at a large bank and was unhappy and burned out. Given my workload at the time it took me some time to really get intimate with my strengths and figure out what they meant for my career and my happiness. In 2005 I came to a conclusion that I could not align my strengths well enough at the bank. In addition, I longed to have a career that was meaningful and truly help others. Offering credit cards to the underserved market and then charging them fees was just not my idea of meaningful work. So I began to craft a plan to change jobs. In 2006 I took on the role of Director of Web Services at the University of Richmond where my strengths are totally aligned with my work and where the mission of the University leads to meaningful work. Since them I have taken on other activities outside of the university that also align with my strengths and are meaningful activities. The end result is a happiness and satisfaction with life that I never thought possible. You too can have the same!

How To Assess Your Strengths?

Get the StrengthsFinder 2.0 book (see the bottom of this post). Read the intro and them take the assessment. Buy a new book since each book comes with a one time use key for the assessment. Take the assessment when you won’t be interrupted. Results are presented to you at the end so save them and print them out. Please post a comment with your strengths or send me an email at “eric AT ericfpalmer dot com” and I will share your strengths with others anonymously.

Go to AuthenticHappiness.com, sign up for a free account and take the VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire.

Print these out and get your family, friends and coworkers to help you understand which strengths resonate most with them. You may find one or two strengths don’t seem to be real for you. Over time your opinion might change or might persist. Just be open to the fact that knowing your strengths will be key to knowing yourself better and achieving greater life satisfaction. For advanced souls, knowing your strengths will help you on the Vital Journey to Self Actualization.

How To Begin To Use Your Strengths?

In a later posts we will discuss how to super charge your life using your strengths. For now start with these steps:

Read and reread the complete information provided by StrengthsFinder with your online assessment and the book. Adsorb what your friends and family say about your strengths. And then use these concepts to examine your thinking and actions in life. This provides a safe vehicle for meta-cognition (thinking about your thinking) which is key to Self Actualization and improved Happiness. Don’t be judgmental about your thoughts and actions. Instead approach them with a sense of detachment and wonderment. Embrace who you are and start to think about how to leverage your strengths in your life. Then use one of your key strengths to change your self-speak about yourself. One of mine self-speak phrases is “I’m great at solving complex problems, bring em on!”

At work, discuss with your boss, co-workers and others your strengths and seek ways to leverage your strengths better. You might even develop a little guide for people that work with you on how your strengths can be leveraged. Then work toward using your strengths more and more at work.

If you are looking to change careers, then seek opportunities to fully deploy your strengths. Even better, if your life situation allows it, seek meaningful work that leverages your strengths.

Example Strengths?

My top 5 StrenghsFinder Strengths

Ideation
Basically I have a love and fascination for ideas. The discovery of simple explanations for complex phenomenon or a new way to look at a new problem really jazzes me up. Being an Ideation person helps me solve big complex problems but at times leads me to see patterns where maybe they don’t exist. See intellection below for added complexity to Ideation.

Learner
Straight up, I love to learn. I can be learning about anything and be happy. My challenge is to be focused and spend time learning topics that are relevant to my career, life-coaching practice and hobbies.

Responsibility
If I commit to something I am emotionally attached to the completion of that item. This strength can lead to over commitment and a loss of work-life balance if I’m not careful. Once I make a decision for getting something done, however, it gets done.

Intellection
I like to think and like mental activity. I like (and am good at) connecting the dots around big complex problems. The combination of Leaner, Ideation, and Responsibility with Untellection means I’m always signing up for problems that I don’t have an immediate solution for solving. But 99% of the time I end up solving the problems and surprising myself in the process.

Activator
I’m impatient to get started on activities. If these activities involve my other strengths, I’m just that much more impatient to get started. Taken with Responsibility I can sign up for too many activities. So I have to be very conscious about what problems I take on and make a commitment for solving. But being a manager of people these is a great strength to have. It helps me line up work for my team and get them moving.

My top 5 VIA Signature Strengths

The following descriptions are taken directly from Dr. Seligman’s Authentic Happiness site. While the nature of Dr. Seligman’s VIA signature strengths are different than the StrengthsFinder strengths, you will notice some alignment. All of these strengths resonate with me and are spot on.

Creativity, ingenuity, and originality
Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.

Love of learning
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.

Appreciation of beauty and excellence
You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.

Zest, enthusiasm, and energy
Regardless of what you do, you approach it with excitement and energy. You never do anything halfway or halfheartedly. For you, life is an adventure.

Capacity to love and be loved
You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you.

More Information on Strengths

Watch this ted.com talk from Dr. Seligman as he explains 1) The Pleasant Life 2) The Good Life and 3) The meaningful Life:

And if you are into reading scientific research Dr. Seligman and others document their successes in sustaining improvements in happiness with Strengths Alignment among other techniques. See his Landmark Article Reporting the Efficacy of Positive Psychology Interventions

The Happiness Project

If you are on the quest to improved happiness you should visit Gretchen Rubin’s site The Happiness Project! You have to love the web!