My oldest daughter wrote this essay for High School this month.  I thought I’d share it as a story to inspire Dad’s and Mom’s that are trying to do the right thing by balancing listening, offering support and maybe a few little lectures and discussions of life skills.  Keep it up parents, It does work! You just might not see it working, but know that it is.  The greatest gift you can give your child is patience and support.

And am I lucky to have daughters that provide the occasion positive feedback.

If you find this useful, or inspiring please leave a comment at the bottom. It will only take just a minute.

Clear Blue

By Jackie Palmer

Wise, clear blue eyes look at my own shady gray-blue eyes promising encouragement and support.  “You will do fine, Honey!” My dad reassured me as we drove around a parking lot.  The day before, I had just got my learners permit and my dad had taken me out to learn how to drive.  It was my first time driving.  My dad looked at me as I tried to maneuver into a parking space.  His blue eyes full of sorrow and delight, sorry that I was no longer his little girl, but delighted that I was growing up. His large gentle hands laid relaxed on his knees, and his smile only noticeable by the slight lift of his peppered beard.

“Dad I really don’t think I am ready to drive,” I nervously whispered to him.

“Sweetie you will do fine!”

“You’re right Dad, just give me a second to calm down.”  After a while I was driving around the parking lot.

We drove together for two hours that day.  At the end he uttered the only thing I needed to hear, “Way to go Jackie!  You did great!”

We continued to drive almost every day until school had started back up.  When we drove, we did not just speak about how to park and what to do on the road.  During our drives we had some of the most serious conversations.

School, colleges, life, and so much more were chatted about during this time.  Once when we had just finished driving we were chatting about my friend who had recently moved away.

“Dad I really am going to miss Shannon.”

“I know Sweetie, but it is better for her family.  You will still be able to see her you know,” he told me with a gentle voice touching my shoulder with one of his big hands.  “She is going to your birthday party too.”

My birthday party soon came and once again my dad and I were in a car except this time I had my friends with me and I was not driving.  My dad had taken off work to drive us to Baltimore, Maryland to go to an anime convention.  My dad as cool as he is was not a big fan of anime but he went out of his way to make me happy.  He always tries to do what is best for me, whether I like it or not.

After the party, dad and I went back to our normal afternoon driving.  It was before school was about to start. I conversed with dad about the new school year.

“Dad I am worried I won’t be able to keep up in my honors classes,” I whined in a soft child like way.

“Don’t worry Honey you will do fine!” he once again reassured me with his calm confident voice and promising eyes.

“But Dad what if I don’t do well in Spanish?  I don’t think they will let me do Spanish 2 over again!” I roared in frustration.

“Honey you will do fine in Spanish and your honors classes.  You just need to calm down and focus on making it through this year.  I am sure they will let you take Spanish 2 over again if you need to.  So Honey don’t worry,” he replied reassuringly while I had parked the car.

“Don’t call me Honey!  And thanks Dad for having confidence in me,” I softly told him.
We don’t drive as much now that school has started but when we do it is always fun.  I feel when I am with my dad I can tell him anything.  I feel this way because whenever I stare into his clear blue eyes and he stares into my shady blue-gray eyes, I know that he will not judge me for anything I think, believe, or state. He won’t judge me because he loves me. He is my Dad.

Michael Faraday

The five essential entrepreneurial skills for success are concentration, discrimination, organization, innovation and communication.

Gustave Courbet

Fine art is knowledge made visible.

Tim Berners Lee

We need diversity of thought in the world to face the new challenges.

Michelangelo

I hope that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.

There is no greater harm than that of time wasted.

Tiger Woods

You can always become better.

Leonardo Di Vinci

I have offended God and mankind because my work didn’t reach the quality it should have.

Thomas Alva Edison

I never did a day’s work in my life. It was all fun.

Sir Issac Newton

If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants

Hunter S. Thompson

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming — WOW — What a Ride!

The day after I posted this article Lives In the Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear! I got an nice email from a friend that supports the point I was making in the article. When you touch people lives that you come in contact with, in positive ways, it will make a difference. 99+% of the time you’ll never know what has touched the people you come in contact with and how. This is where faith comes in. You just need to believe that you are making a positive impact on others.

But once in a while you may just be lucky enough to hear from the people you have touched as I have. Thank you Martha for this great note and permission to use it in this article:

Hi Eric,
I just wanted to write and thank you. I don’t know if you’ve heard my news that after maternity leave I decided not to come back to UMW as director. Instead, I’ve come back part-time to work on special projects for DTLT.

Coming to this decision has taken a long time, and one of the things that influenced me a lot was our conversations at EDUCAUSE last year. Hearing you talk about the life changes you made, I came away from that conference thinking, “I’m not living the life I’m supposed to be living.” I remember repeating that over and over to myself on the plane ride home. It took a year for me to finally get my act together and make some serious changes, but I can’t tell you what they have meant to me and my family. I’m happier now than I have ever been in my life, and I’m grateful for people like you who have modeled for me the idea that in life we have *choices* about how we live. I think it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that life is just happening to us instead of us making life happen for ourselves.

So, I hope that goes a little way towards elevating you today — you deserve it. In my new found happiness, I’m trying to find more opportunities to tell people what they mean to me and to “pay it forward.” So your recent tweets have resonated with me. For too long, I’ve not believed that I can affect people, and I’m learning that by reaching out I can make a difference. Maybe this will make a small difference in your life today.

Take care of yourself!
Martha

So now go and elevate others. Smile and touch people in positive ways. Be kind and assume positive intent.

Image Used with Creative Commons Attribution Permission - Flickr jade-rabbit’s Photostream

Time to slow down for a minute and consider how we affect others and what we can do to elevate each other. As we move though the hustle and bustle of our daily lives we come in contact with tens and sometimes hundreds of lives. Every contact, no matter how small is an opportunity to elevate friends, families, co-workers and strangers.

There are countless stories of people touching others in simple yet positive ways that later we come to understand impacted someone in a positive and sometimes life saving way. Think about the teenager that is considering suicide, the father that is considering divorce, the harried mother that doesn’t know what to do. Even a little touch, a moment of concern or happiness from someone can make a difference in their lives. If we stop the pain, even for a brief moment, the positive difference will grow and we will prevent others from taking drastic action.

And in this times of economic uncertainty, Don’t we all want someone to brighten up our day. So get out there and make a difference in someone else’s life, no matter how small the difference, it will have a positive impact. And with a little luck, the person that you elevate will elevate others and your impact will grow.

If you make a difference in 5 people’s live today and they impact 5 and they impact 5 people, your reach becomes 25 people. In a month you can impact 750 people. In a year, 9,000 people. And don’t stop at 5 people. Most of us come in contact with way more than 5 people in a day. Spread the Joy. Pay It Forward!

Simple Ways To Elevate Others Without Effort

• Smile at everyone you come in contact with
• Let that car merge into your lane safely
• Complement someone on their dress, smile, the help they gave you
• Declare what a great day it is to someone
• Say hi to everyone in the elevator, the hall, the store
• Thank everyone that serves you; waiters, the postman, everyone
• Hug your family
• High five someone at work
• Tell your kids that you love them
• Tell your spouse you love them
• Believe in and encourage the dreams of others
• Stop and let them cross the street, smile at them
• Say thank you to your kid’s teachers, send them a note, and take them a flower

Ten Small Commitments To Elevate Others

1. Visit a school (any school) and read to the class
2. Volunteer for elementary school chat and chew (book reviews)
3. Donate a book to a school
4. When you see someone in distress, take then aside as find out what is wrong, offer emotional support
5. Sit beside someone that is alone; on the bus, at the cafeteria, at assembly, show concern
6. Visit a nursing home and ask one of the patrons about their life, you may learn something in return
7. Write a letter to someone you care about thanking them deeply for the difference they have made in your life
8. Join Bookmooch http://www.bookmooch.com/ and put your used books to use. Find a Bookmooch charity http://www.bookmooch.com/charity and donate some points to them!

Now go out and make a difference in someone’s life and feel the joy and warmth that is returned. Encourage big dreams, encourage others! We may never know what impact we have had, but have faith, we can affect others in positive ways. We can make a difference. It doesn’t even take any money nor much time. Just start now!

Work Hard!, Play Hard!, Touch Someone’s Life!, Life Is Grand!

Follow Up

The day after I posted this article I got an email from a friend about how she was touched by positive words that helped her achieve greater happiness. You may want to read: Epilogue to - “Lives In the Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear!”

In September I met with my wonderful drawing teacher Nancy. Part of that meeting was for me to draw a hand, a self portrait and a face from memory. As you can see my drawings are somewhat child like.

Future Posts and this prior one shows the progress I’ve been making in just a few weeks of meeting once a week.

My Left Hand

Self Portrait

Oldest Daughter From Memory