Three Good Things - A Family Practice That Works

Here is a really simple and effective gratitude like practice that you might find useful in improving happiness. In my household we have used this practice almost daily for a year and it has helped my daughters (and the rest of us) with improved happiness, better study habits and overall improved levels of responsibility. Typically this is a dinner table exercise (You do eat dinner with your family don’t you?), but we also practice is in the car when traveling and at any time we are all together.

The practice is known as “Three Good Things” and consists of the following:

• Name something good from you life today.
• Answer the question: Why is is good?
• Answer the question: Why did it happen?
• Rinse repeat 2 more times.

I first read about this practice from Dr. Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology on his site authentichappiness.com. You can read more about it in this article:

Positive Psychology Progress Empirical Validation of Interventions

by Martin E. P. Seligman and Tracy A. Steen - University of Pennsylvania, Nansook Park - University of Rhode Island, Christopher Peterson - University of Michigan

Isn’t this really a gratitude practice?

The short answer is yes, absolutely. However the concept of gratitude is more abstract than something good in your life. With middle school and high schools kids, when we practiced gratitude, they were at a loss some days to find something to be grateful about. But they are never at a loss to come up with something good from their day. Even when they have a really bad day, at least they cam come up with ‘the day is over’.

How can this help with study habits and grades?

We had been doing this practice for about 3 weeks when my oldest said: “I got a 97 in History!” Dad Says “Why is that good?” “I love history and good grades are always good!” Dad Says “Why did it happen?” “I studied more than usual.” When she said that, bingo, the lights went off. You could see it in her face, the realization about the consequences of study and grades. Sure, as parents, we have again and again stressed the tie between effective study habits and good grades. But people learn best from their own data. And all the times we had talked in the past about study just clicked with her. Bingo that is it. SHe got it!

It really hit my oldest in a dramatic way. From that point on she has focused more on study habits and commitment to study and grades have continued to improve. And we now hear frequently about something good at school tied to personnel effort and commitment.

What about good things that are out of our control?

The beauty of this practice is the good thing can be anything. We don’t pass judgment on ‘the good thing that each of find in our life. Just make sure that everyone answers the two follow on questions regardless of the nature of the good thing. Over time the good things will cover so many different scenarios that this practice will turn into a focused gratitude conversation.

• Good Thing: “The beautiful sunrise this morning was great.”
• Why is it a good thing: “Because I love sunrises.”
• Why did it happen: “God decided we needed a good sunrise.”

• Good Thing: “The meatloaf I’m eating right now.”
• Why is it a good thing: “Because It’s my favorite home cooked meal.”
• Why did it happen: “Mom is a good cook and she made meatloaf when I asked for it.”

• Good Thing: “Friendships with distance friends.”
• Why is it a good thing: “Because Sally is a really good friend and I love talking with her.”
• Why did it happen: “I contacted her even though it has been a long time and she lives hundreds of miles away.”

What else do I need to know?

Get started today with this practice. Everyone benefits and you can even do it alone. It’s simple and the benefits grow over time. By focusing on good things it will take your mind off of the negative news in the world. And if you believe in the law of attraction - LOA (I do) it will help bring more good things in your life and it will open your eyes to much of the goodness that is with us each and every day.

Where can I find out more?

Start with Dr. Seligman’s site and this wonderful ted video where Dr. Seligman talks about what makes us happy. This is must see video.

And post a comment or two here. Lets get a dialog going about Three Good Things!