Here is a really simple and effective gratitude like practice that you might find useful in improving happiness. In my household we have used this practice almost daily for a year and it has helped my daughters (and the rest of us) with improved happiness, better study habits and overall improved levels of responsibility. Typically this is a dinner table exercise (You do eat dinner with your family don’t you?), but we also practice is in the car when traveling and at any time we are all together.

The practice is known as “Three Good Things” and consists of the following:

• Name something good from you life today.
• Answer the question: Why is is good?
• Answer the question: Why did it happen?
• Rinse repeat 2 more times.

I first read about this practice from Dr. Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology on his site authentichappiness.com. You can read more about it in this article:

Positive Psychology Progress Empirical Validation of Interventions

by Martin E. P. Seligman and Tracy A. Steen - University of Pennsylvania, Nansook Park - University of Rhode Island, Christopher Peterson - University of Michigan

Isn’t this really a gratitude practice?

The short answer is yes, absolutely. However the concept of gratitude is more abstract than something good in your life. With middle school and high schools kids, when we practiced gratitude, they were at a loss some days to find something to be grateful about. But they are never at a loss to come up with something good from their day. Even when they have a really bad day, at least they cam come up with ‘the day is over’.

How can this help with study habits and grades?

We had been doing this practice for about 3 weeks when my oldest said: “I got a 97 in History!” Dad Says “Why is that good?” “I love history and good grades are always good!” Dad Says “Why did it happen?” “I studied more than usual.” When she said that, bingo, the lights went off. You could see it in her face, the realization about the consequences of study and grades. Sure, as parents, we have again and again stressed the tie between effective study habits and good grades. But people learn best from their own data. And all the times we had talked in the past about study just clicked with her. Bingo that is it. SHe got it!

It really hit my oldest in a dramatic way. From that point on she has focused more on study habits and commitment to study and grades have continued to improve. And we now hear frequently about something good at school tied to personnel effort and commitment.

What about good things that are out of our control?

The beauty of this practice is the good thing can be anything. We don’t pass judgment on ‘the good thing that each of find in our life. Just make sure that everyone answers the two follow on questions regardless of the nature of the good thing. Over time the good things will cover so many different scenarios that this practice will turn into a focused gratitude conversation.

• Good Thing: “The beautiful sunrise this morning was great.”
• Why is it a good thing: “Because I love sunrises.”
• Why did it happen: “God decided we needed a good sunrise.”

• Good Thing: “The meatloaf I’m eating right now.”
• Why is it a good thing: “Because It’s my favorite home cooked meal.”
• Why did it happen: “Mom is a good cook and she made meatloaf when I asked for it.”

• Good Thing: “Friendships with distance friends.”
• Why is it a good thing: “Because Sally is a really good friend and I love talking with her.”
• Why did it happen: “I contacted her even though it has been a long time and she lives hundreds of miles away.”

What else do I need to know?

Get started today with this practice. Everyone benefits and you can even do it alone. It’s simple and the benefits grow over time. By focusing on good things it will take your mind off of the negative news in the world. And if you believe in the law of attraction - LOA (I do) it will help bring more good things in your life and it will open your eyes to much of the goodness that is with us each and every day.

Where can I find out more?

Start with Dr. Seligman’s site and this wonderful ted video where Dr. Seligman talks about what makes us happy. This is must see video.

And post a comment or two here. Lets get a dialog going about Three Good Things!

If you haven’t checked out BookMooch.com yet you really should.  At BookMooch you put your used books in inventory and build points. Once you have enough inventory you can mooch books from others.  You only pay when you ship a book to someone that has mooched a book from you.  With 4th class shipping it usually runs about $2.

In the couple of years I’ve been a member I have mooched 30 books and sent 63 to other moochers.  I’ve gotten the most moochers by recycling my kids reading books when they age out of the category or style.  This makes Bookmooch a great please for parents to get reading books and recycle them.  Good for the kids, good for the environment.

Here is a sampling of the last five books I’ve mooched.

Trade your books at BookMooch.com Once you build up points you can donate points to listed charities as well. My favorite is the Youth Initiative High School. So put some old books to use, get something in return and maybe contribute to a charity.

My oldest daughter wrote this essay for High School this month.  I thought I’d share it as a story to inspire Dad’s and Mom’s that are trying to do the right thing by balancing listening, offering support and maybe a few little lectures and discussions of life skills.  Keep it up parents, It does work! You just might not see it working, but know that it is.  The greatest gift you can give your child is patience and support.

And am I lucky to have daughters that provide the occasion positive feedback.

If you find this useful, or inspiring please leave a comment at the bottom. It will only take just a minute.

Clear Blue

By Jackie Palmer

Wise, clear blue eyes look at my own shady gray-blue eyes promising encouragement and support.  “You will do fine, Honey!” My dad reassured me as we drove around a parking lot.  The day before, I had just got my learners permit and my dad had taken me out to learn how to drive.  It was my first time driving.  My dad looked at me as I tried to maneuver into a parking space.  His blue eyes full of sorrow and delight, sorry that I was no longer his little girl, but delighted that I was growing up. His large gentle hands laid relaxed on his knees, and his smile only noticeable by the slight lift of his peppered beard.

“Dad I really don’t think I am ready to drive,” I nervously whispered to him.

“Sweetie you will do fine!”

“You’re right Dad, just give me a second to calm down.”  After a while I was driving around the parking lot.

We drove together for two hours that day.  At the end he uttered the only thing I needed to hear, “Way to go Jackie!  You did great!”

We continued to drive almost every day until school had started back up.  When we drove, we did not just speak about how to park and what to do on the road.  During our drives we had some of the most serious conversations.

School, colleges, life, and so much more were chatted about during this time.  Once when we had just finished driving we were chatting about my friend who had recently moved away.

“Dad I really am going to miss Shannon.”

“I know Sweetie, but it is better for her family.  You will still be able to see her you know,” he told me with a gentle voice touching my shoulder with one of his big hands.  “She is going to your birthday party too.”

My birthday party soon came and once again my dad and I were in a car except this time I had my friends with me and I was not driving.  My dad had taken off work to drive us to Baltimore, Maryland to go to an anime convention.  My dad as cool as he is was not a big fan of anime but he went out of his way to make me happy.  He always tries to do what is best for me, whether I like it or not.

After the party, dad and I went back to our normal afternoon driving.  It was before school was about to start. I conversed with dad about the new school year.

“Dad I am worried I won’t be able to keep up in my honors classes,” I whined in a soft child like way.

“Don’t worry Honey you will do fine!” he once again reassured me with his calm confident voice and promising eyes.

“But Dad what if I don’t do well in Spanish?  I don’t think they will let me do Spanish 2 over again!” I roared in frustration.

“Honey you will do fine in Spanish and your honors classes.  You just need to calm down and focus on making it through this year.  I am sure they will let you take Spanish 2 over again if you need to.  So Honey don’t worry,” he replied reassuringly while I had parked the car.

“Don’t call me Honey!  And thanks Dad for having confidence in me,” I softly told him.
We don’t drive as much now that school has started but when we do it is always fun.  I feel when I am with my dad I can tell him anything.  I feel this way because whenever I stare into his clear blue eyes and he stares into my shady blue-gray eyes, I know that he will not judge me for anything I think, believe, or state. He won’t judge me because he loves me. He is my Dad.